Special (khususi Mulaqat) Joula Adab and Etiqueets
MOST IMPORTANT THING
YOU WILL LEARN ALL THESE ONLY IN THE PATH OF ALLAH WHILE DOING PRACTICALLY AND GRADUALLY. These are only Guidelines that will help you to be focussed and making a good learner.
YOU WILL LEARN ALL THESE ONLY IN THE PATH OF ALLAH WHILE DOING PRACTICALLY AND GRADUALLY. These are only Guidelines that will help you to be focussed and making a good learner.
1. Composition:
In this kind of joula, try to get 2-3 brothers mostly experienced besides the guide. Anyone can start talk but make a general agreement before you meet any person who should start ftrst, who next, and so on. It will avoid conflict or misunderstanding, duplication, confusion, etc. Be a smart dayee. Amir of this Joula should organize.
3. Be Merciful to Ummat:
Here we are just visiting a Muslim brother, he is an ummat of Rasul :I, he needs to work for Deen with the talents and expertise he posses and can excel ahead of many of us. We need to go in joula with the importance in values and attitute ofakherat. Otherwise our Da'wah will have little impact or affect.
Talk with Ikram e Muslim: We must talk with ikram, respect without humiliating a Muslim. It is important. In fact, you talk with ikram, praise about how much he is serving the community, what a wonderful job
he is doing, etc. Using this approach, try to get his attention, he will feel comfortable, he will think you are his well-wisher, he will listen to you. Then you talk about grave, Akherat..
3. Talk with Hekmat:
When one brother talks, others should make zikr to request the help of Allah so that Allah can change the heart and accept him for the work of Da'wah.
The talk or discussion should follow a sequence....
when one stops, the next person should continue from the ftrst person keeping the same subject, trend, flow, etc. The second person should not start allover again rather continue from the fIrst person's talk. Talk should be concise, to the point with specifted goals, not at random.
5. Talk must Converge: Remember you are talking to a leader.. .if you talk at random, he will think you are wasting his time and it will not make any sense to him. In many instances when this happens,
the leader himself starts talking and takes over the talk, agenda, his accomplishments, how much he has done for the community, etc.
LEAD FROM THE FRONT OTHERWISE........
The whole joula is sidetracked. Jamat brothers return back without any taskil rather get lot of exposure to worldly things whieh the leader was talking about and in many instances, get lot of advice on what to do, how to do, whaT not to do, etc. In fact it hurts the jamat brothers. So in order to avoid this kind of scenario, right at the beginning, guide should make a request to the leader that these brothers have come from out of town to talk with you for few minutes. The jamat brother may introduce himself to the leader with his background even worldly position such as I am so and so. It gets leader's attention otherwise the leader will think these people came to him for some favor or
money or they have nothing to do.
You cannot blame him for that as he is doing this kind of favor everyday, it it not new to him. Jamat brother should be talking.... about grave, akherat, life after death. You should never discuss worldly issues, events. In that case, he is the leader and expert in this fteld. He will take over and solve all these issues. When you talk about akherat, he will be silent; he cannot help but listen to you. He himself needs it, he has no choice,no solution, and will listen.
6. No worldy value: We must remember our mission: if this leader (no matter how big or famous he is) obeys Allah, participates in Da'wah, he will be successful. His worldly success has very little value in the eye of Allah. That is why it is important that old workers should go in this kind of joula. Unless this joula is done properly, it can morally or spritually hurt jamat brother and he will return with the regreat that he does not have those things the leader has, so many things he is missing because he is in jamat. It is also
important to keep eyes down, do not look around to see his worldly possesions and values. The worldly possessions and materials have no value in the eye of Allah. The worldly materials and values should never affect us. These are temporary and' all will be destroyed. When the poor companions of Rasul :I went to the Roman and Persiam kings; those palaces, wealth, glamour, beauty, etc never affected them. They were very firm on the powers of Allah, importance of akherat, severity of Allah's punishment if
disobeyed, only success in the obedience of Allah's orders, etc. Those poor companions of Rasul ~ used give Da'wah to those rules: either accept Islam and live peacefully or give tax and offer freedom to public to choose Islam if anyone wants to.
6. Take Control of Talk: Joula brothers must take control of the talk from beginning to end. We might offer the leader a chance to talk , but most of the time (80-90%), jamat brothers should be talking and controlling the talk.
7. Find Connection: Many times, it is easier to visit a big leader through his acquintances. Do not just do a quick job of visiting a leader. Find good connection, visit him first. Convience him about
the imporantance of Da'wah, akherat and then use his connection to reach the big leader.
9. Feel Comfortable: If you can make him feel confortable, he will listen even if he is busy. Many times, he offers tea, coffee, etc. It is OK to accept. Take time especially if he is willing to give time. You
will be closer to him. Rasul :I used to talk with people and used to fmd connection with his family. The person very soon realized that Rasul :I is his well-wisher and became ready to listem. It is the
Hekmat, which matters...how you present your approach, talk, humbleness, etc.
10. Avoid Controversy, be focused:
It is very important to avoid controversial talks, worldly events, politics, current events, Masail, crticize other Islamic activities, etc. This kind of topic creates
argument, sharp disagreement, and bitterness. Our main thrust is akherat, grave, life hereafter, etc. This will keep your talk: and discussion focused.
11. How long talk? It depends on the atmosphere where you are talking. In some instances, the leader is busy, you have only few minutes. In such case, try to take time for another visit rather than talk briefly.
In some place, talk can be interesting and last longer. However we must always gage him how he is listening? We should not force the discussion. It should be friendly atmosphere.
12. Taskil him: If you are close in talks, you might taskil him for some time right there. How much you can taskil depends on your approach, how busy he is. The situation might be favorable to aSk for his time to benefit the jamat in terms of visit to other important people in the community, as he knows lot of people. At the same time, you need to be careful whether you should get his help as he has many enemies where you will not be able to visit with him. In such situation, it might be better to go alone with the guide. The bottomline is that he makes some intentions to give time and come to the masjid. If he comes to the masjid, take care of him, offer his some tea, coffee, snack, food; let a different brother talk: with him in more details, Taskil him for longer time, etc.
