Importance of Marriage in Islam:
(Most part of the article has been reproduced here with thanks from http://www.central-mosque.com/fiqh/Wedding.htm)
Islam has not only permitted Nikah but encouraged it and emphasised its importance.
( In Islam Nikah has been made easy and Zina / illegal/extramarital relation has been made difficult)
Muslim society has been commanded by Allah (SWT) to engage in Nikah and actively support each other in this endeavour:
[24:32] Arrange the marriage of the spouseless among you, and the capable from among your bondmen and bondwomen. If they are poor, Allah will enrich them out of His grace. Allah is All-Encompassing, All-Knowing.
Muslim women have also been discouraged to live a life of celibacy and commanded by Allah (SWT) to choose a suitable spouse:
[2:232] When you have divorced women, and they have reached (the end of) their waiting period, do not prevent them from marrying their husbands when they mutually agree with fairness. Thus the advice is given to everyone of you who believes in Allah and in the Hereafter. This is more pure and clean for you. Allah knows and you do not know.
In fact, Allah (SWT) describes his special blessings to Prophets (AS) having granted them wives and children:
[13:38] We have sent messengers before you, and gave them wives and children. It is not for a messenger to bring a verse without the will of Allah. For every age there are some rules prescribed.
Our beloved Rasul-ullah (Sallaho Alaihe Wassallam) also commanded Muslims to engage in Nikah as it is best for their character and modesty and helps them with guarding their gaze.
Narrated 'Abdullah (RA): We were with the Prophet (Sallaho Alaihe Wassallam) while we were young and had no wealth whatever. So Allah's Apostle (Sallaho Alaihe Wassallam) said, "O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty (i.e. his private parts from committing illegal sexual intercourse etc.), and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power." [Bukhari]
Warning to those who disregard marriage:
The Sunnah of Rasul-ullah (Sallaho Alaihe Wassallam) discourages from life of celibacy and abstinence from Nikah and equates abstinence from Nikah as not following the traditions of Islam.
Narrated Anas bin Malik (RA): A group of three men came to the houses of the wives of the Prophet asking how the Prophet worshipped (Allah), and when they were informed about that, they considered their worship insufficient and said, "Where are we from the Prophet as his past and future sins have been forgiven." Then one of them said, "I will offer the prayer throughout the night forever." The other said, "I will fast throughout the year and will not break my fast." The third said, "I will keep away from the women and will not marry forever." Allah's Apostle came to them and said, "Are you the same people who said so-and-so? By Allah, I am more submissive to Allah and more afraid of Him than you; yet I fast and break my fast, I do sleep and I also marry women. So he who does not follow my tradition in religion, is not from me (not one of my followers)." [Bukhari]
Legal Status of Marriage in Islam:
Shaykh (Mufti) Mohammed Sajjad writes, “Nikah is a very blessed Sunnah so much so that scholars have written to occupy oneself in arranging to marry, or in maintaining ones' marriage through earning a living etc. is preferred over performing extra (nafl) acts of worship, See Rad al-Muhtar, vol.4 p.57. Having said this, for a person who cannot control his gaze and is committing Zina of the eyes etc. it will be obligatory (wajib) to marry to preserve his Deen.”
Shaykh (Maulana) Khalid Saifullah Rahmani writes in Halal wa Haram, “It is even recommended for a person who has sexual urges but doesn’t fear that he will fall into Fitnah that he should marry and some have categorised his status (need) for Nikah as Sunnah while others as Mustahab (recommended) but in reality Nikah cannot be categorised as less then Sunnah and those who have declared it Mustahab (recommended) for him do actually mean that it is indeed Sunnah”
Procedure for Marriage in Islam:
Choosing a suitable partner:
Although beauty, physical attraction or a feature which is pleasing can be adopted as a means of choosing a partner as subtly hinted in the Qur’aan:
[4:3]...marry the women you like...
But the ultimate criteria and basis should be the religious inclination and practise of the individual.
Narrated Abu Huraira (RA): The Prophet (Sallaho Alaihe Wassallam) said, "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a losers. [Bukhari]
Proposal & Acceptance, two male witnesses and Wakeel and the Dowry:
Since the purpose of Nikah is to safeguard a person’s chastity and modesty, Islam has kept the procedure for Nikah very simple and straight forward.
Shaykh (Mufti) Ibraheem Desai writes, “Nikah is performed with a proposal (Iejaab) by the male or female and acceptance (Qubool) by the male or female in the past tense and in the presence of two male Muslim witnesses (Hidaaya vol. 2). The bride gives consent to her representative (Wakeel) in the presence of two witnesses to perform her marriage at the Masjid. At the Masjid, the Wakeel represents the bride in the presence of the two witnesses and the stipulated dowry. The witnesses must be two trustworthy and pious male Muslims who are not her ascendants e.g. father, grandfather or descendants e.g. son, grandson, etc. The Mahr (dowry) is the woman's right and should be stipulated prior to the marriage.”
Aisha (RA) narrates that Rasul-ullah (Sallaho Alaihe Wassallam) said, “There is no marriage except with a wali and two witnesses of good character.”[Bayhaqi]
Ibn Qudamah (RA) said: Marriage cannot be done except with two Muslim witnesses, whether the couple are both Muslims, or only the husband is Muslim...[Al-Mughni]
[4:4] Give women their dower in good cheer. Then, if they forego some of it, of their own will, you may have it as pleasant and joyful.
Marriage Sermon (Khutbah):
Shaykh (Maulana) Khalid Saifullah Rahmani writes in Halal wa Haram, “The following is referred to us as ‘Khutbatul-Hajjah” in Hadeeth and can be read at any occasion but in a narration of Baihaqi it has been linked with the occasion of Nikah”
إِنَّ الحَمدَ لِلَّهِ ، نَسْتَعِينُهُ وَنَسْتَغفِرُهُ ، وَنَعُوذُ بِهِ مِن شُرُورِ أَنفُسِنَا ، مَن يَهدِهِ اللَّهُ فَلا مُضِلَّ لَهُ ، وَمَن يُضلِل فَلا هَادِيَ لَه ، وَأَشهَدُ أَن لا إِلَهَ إِلا اللَّهُ وَأَشهَدُ أَنَّ مُحَمَّدًا عَبدُهُ وَرَسُولُه .
يَا أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ اتَّقُواْ رَبَّكُمُ الَّذِي خَلَقَكُم مِّن نَّفْسٍ وَاحِدَةٍ وَخَلَقَ مِنْهَا زَوْجَهَا وَبَثَّ مِنْهُمَا رِجَالاً كَثِيراً وَنِسَاء وَاتَّقُواْ اللّهَ الَّذِي تَسَاءلُونَ بِهِ وَالأَرْحَامَ إِنَّ اللّهَ كَانَ عَلَيْكُمْ رَقِيباً
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُواْ اتَّقُواْ اللّهَ حَقَّ تُقَاتِهِ وَلاَ تَمُوتُنَّ إِلاَّ وَأَنتُم مُّسْلِمُونَ
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا اتَّقُوا اللَّهَ وَقُولُوا قَوْلاً سَدِيداً يُصْلِحْ لَكُمْ أَعْمَالَكُمْ وَيَغْفِرْ لَكُمْ ذُنُوبَكُمْ وَمَن يُطِعْ اللَّهَ وَرَسُولَهُ فَقَدْ فَازَ فَوْزاً عَظِيماً
TRANSLATION
Praise be to Allaah, we seek His help and His forgiveness. We seek refuge with Allaah from the evil of our own souls and from our bad deeds. Whomsoever Allaah guides will never be led astray, and whomsoever Allaah leaves astray, no one can guide. I bear witness that there is no god but Allaah, and I bear witness that Muhammad (Sallaho Alaihe Wassallam) is His slave and Messenger
[4:1] O men, fear your Lord who created you from a single soul, and from it created its match, and spread many men and women from the two. Fear Allah in whose name you ask each other (for your rights), and fear (the violation of the rights of) the womb-relations. Surely, Allah is watchful over you.
[3:102] O you who believe, fear Allah, as He should be feared, and let not yourself die save as Muslims.
[33:70] O you who believe, fear Allah, and speak in straightforward words.
[33:71] (If you do so,) Allah will correct your deeds for your benefit, and forgive your sins for you. Whoever obeys Allah and His Messenger achieves a great success.
Congratulating the Groom:
It is from the Sunnah of Rasul-ullah (Sallaho Alaihe Wassallam) to congratulate the groom with this dua:
بَارَكَ اللَّهُ لَكَ وَبَارَكَ عَلَيْكَ وَجمََعَ بَيْنَكُمَا فِي الخَْيْرِ
Sayyidina Abu Hurayrah (RA) reported that when a man married, Rasul-ullah (Sallaho Alaihe Wassallam) would say to him, “May Allah bless you and bless it for you and may He join you with goodness!” [Tirmidhi]
Feast of Walima:
Shaykh (Mufti) Muhammad ibn Adam writes, “The Arabic word Walima (marriage banquet) is derived from the root word Walam, which literally means to gather and assemble. The Arabs used it for a meal or feast where people were invited and gathered. Later, the term became exclusive for the wedding banquet. The Arabs used different terms for the various feasts they enjoyed. For example: al-I’zar on the occasion of a child’s circumcision, al-Khurs for a marriage not ending in divorce, al-Wakira on building a new home, al-Naqi’ah when a traveller returns home, al-Aqiqah on the seventh day after childbirth, al-Ma’duba for a general meal without any specific reason, etc. (See: Ibn Hajar, Fath al-Bari, 9/300 & Ibn Qudamah, al-Mugni, 7/1). The marriage feast (walima) is a Sunna of our beloved Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace). It is an outward expression of gratitude and pleasure and a great means of publicising the marriage, which has been greatly encouraged.”
Sayyiduna Anas ibn Malik (RA) narrates that the Messenger of Allah (Sallaho Alaihe Wassallam) saw a yellow mark on Abdur Rahman ibn Awf (RA) and said: “What’s this?” He replied: “I have married a woman with the dowry being gold to the weight of a date-stone.” The Messenger of Allah (Sallaho Alaihe Wassallam) said: “May Allah bless you (in your marriage), perform a Walima, even if it is only with a goat.” [Bukhari]
Shaykh (Maulana) Khalid Saifullah Rahmani writes in Halal wa Haram, “The Walima feast and its preparation is dependent upon the financial status and means of the individual as he (Sallaho Alaihe Wassallam) himself offered different varieties of feast on various occasions of his walima”
Shaykh (Maulana) Khalid Saifullah Rahmani writes in Halal wa Haram, “The Walima feast and its preparation is dependent upon the financial status and means of the individual as he (Sallaho Alaihe Wassallam) himself offered different varieties of feast on various occasions of his walima”
The Messenger of Allah (Sallaho Alaihe Wassallam) himself provided a Walima after many of his marriages. He provided meat and bread on the occasion of his marriage with Zaynab bint Jahsh (RA), Hays (a type of sweat-dish cooked with dates, cheese & butter) on the occasion of his marriage with Safiyya (RA) and barley on another occasion. [Bukhari & Muslim]
The time of Walima:
The time of Walima:
Shaykh (Mufti) Muhammad ibn Adam writes, “The scholars have disagreed as to the correct time of this Walima. There are many opinions. For example:
1) At the time of the marriage contract,
2) After the marriage contract and before consummation of marriage,
3) At the time of the wedding procession (bride leaving for her husband’s house) (Ibn Hajar, Fath al-Bari, 9/287)
However, the majority of the scholars (jumhur) are of the opinion that Walima is a meal that is prepared after the marriage has been consummated. This was the practice of the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace), as explicitly mentioned in one narration.
Sayyiduna Anas ibn Malik (RA) narrates that he was a boy of ten when the Messenger of Allah (Sallaho Alaihe Wassallam) migrated to Madina. (He added): “My mother and aunts used to urge me to serve the Messenger of Allah (Sallaho Alaihe Wassallam) regularly, thus I served him for ten years. When the Messenger of Allah (Sallaho Alaihe Wassallam) passed away, I was twenty years old, and I knew about the order of Hijab more than anyone else, when it was revealed. It was revealed for the first time when the Messenger of Allah (Sallaho Alaihe Wassallam) had consummated his marriage with Zainab bint Jahsh (RA). The Messenger of Allah (Sallaho Alaihe Wassallam) in the morning was a bridegroom, and he invited the people to a banquet. So they came, ate, and then all left except a few who remained with the Messenger of Allah (Sallaho Alaihe Wassallam) for a long time….. [Bukhari]
Sayyiduna Anas (RA) said: “The Messenger of Allah (Sallaho Alaihe Wassallam) consummated his marriage with a woman (Zainab), so he sent me to invite people for a meal.” [Bukhari]
The great Hadith master (hafidh), Ibn Hajar al-Asqalani (RA) states:
“The Hadith of Anas (quoted above) is clear in determining that Walima is considered to be after the consummation of marriage.” (Fath al-Bari, 9/199. Also see: I’la al-Sunan, vol. 10, p. 11)
It is stated in al-Fatawa al-Hindiyya:
“The marriage banquet (walima) is a Sunna and there is great reward in it. And it is carried out when the marriage is consummated.” [al-Fatawa al-Hindiyya, 5/343]”
The Hanafi jurists (fuqaha) are of the opinion that, a banquet up to two days will be considered to be a Walima, after which it will no longer be considered a Walima.
It is stated in al-Fatawa al-Hindiyya:
“There is nothing wrong in inviting people the next day after consummation or the day after. After that, marriage and Walima celebrations will come to an end.” [5/343]
It has also been reported from the Messenger of Allah (Sallaho Alaihe Wassallam) that he stated: “Walima on the first day is confirmed (haq), and on the second day, it is good (ma’ruf), and on the third day, it is showing off.” [Abi Daud]
Who should be invited to Walima?
Shaykh (Mufti) Muhammad ibn Adam writes, “Sayyiduna Abu Huraira (RA) states: “The worst food is that of a wedding banquet (walima) to which only the rich are invited whilst the poor are not invited. And he who refuses an invitation (to a banquet) disobeys Allah and His Messenger (Sallaho Alaihe Wassallam).” [Bukhari]
Disagreeable customs, innovations and forbidden practises associated with Wedding:
Shaykh (Maulana) Saleem Dhorat writes, “In aping Western methods sheepishly, Muslims have adopted many customs which are un-Islamic and frowned upon. Some examples are:
1) Displaying the bride on stage;
2) Inviting guests for the wedding from far off places;
3) Receiving guests in the hall;
4) The bride's people incurring unnecessary expenses by holding a feast which has no basis in Shariah. We should remember that Walimah is the feast arranged by the bridegroom after the marriage is consummated.
5) It is contrary to Sunnah (and the practice of some non-Muslim tribes in India) to wish, hope for or demand presents and gifts for the bridegroom, from the bride's people. We should always remember that our Nabi (Sallaho Alaihe Wassallam) did not give Ali (RA) anything except Dua”
Shaykh (Maulana) Saleem Dhorat previously narrates the blessed wedding of Siyyidituna Fatima
and Sayydina Ali (RA) and concludes that the following methods can be derived from it:
1) The many customs as regards engagement are contrary to the Sunnah. In fact, many are against the Shariah and are regarded as sins. A verbal proposal and answer is sufficient.
2) To unnecessarily delay Nikah of both the boy and the girl after having reached the age of marriage is incorrect.
3) There is nothing wrong in inviting one's close associates for the occasion of Nikah. However, no special pains should be taken in gathering the people from far off places.
4) It is appropriate that the bridegroom be a few years older than the bride.
5) If the father of the girl is a Scholar or pious and capable of performing Nikah, then he should himself solemnise the marriage.
6) It is better to give the Mahr Faatimi and one should endeavour to do so. But if one does not have the means then there is nothing wrong in giving less.
7) It is totally un-Islamic for those, who do not possess the means, to incur debts in order to have grandiose weddings.
8) It is fallacy to think that one's respect will be lost if one does not hold an extravagant wedding and invite many people. What is our respect compared to that of (Sallaho Alaihe Wassallam)?
9) The present day practice of the intermingling of sexes is an act of sin and totally against Shariah.
10) There is nothing such as engagement parties and Medhi parties in Islam.
11) Great care must be taken as regards to Salaat on occasions of marriage by all - the bride, the bridegroom and all the participants.
12) It is un-Islamic to display the bride on stage.
13) The unnecessary expenses incurred by the bride's family in holding a feast has no basis in Shariah.
14) For the engaged couple to meet at a public gathering where the boy holds the girl's hand and slips a ring on her finger is a violation of the Qur'anic law of Hijaab.
15) It is un-Islamic for the engaged couple to meet each other and also go out together.
16) Three things should be borne in mind when giving one's daughter gifts and presents at the time of Nikah:
a. Presents should be given within one's means (it is not permissible to take loans, on interest for such presents);
b. To give necessary items;
c. A show should not be made of whatever is given.
17) It is Sunnat for the bridegroom's family to make Walimah. In Walimah, whatever is easily available should be fed to the people and care should be taken that the is no extravagance, show and that no debts are incurred in the process.
18) To delay Nikah after the engagement is un-Islamic.
