Adopted from Mariful Qur'aan by Mufti Mohammed Shafi (RA)
ٱلرِّجَالُ قَوَّٲمُونَ عَلَى ٱلنِّسَآءِ بِمَا فَضَّلَ ٱللَّهُ بَعۡضَهُمۡ عَلَىٰ بَعۡضٍ۬ وَبِمَآ أَنفَقُواْ مِنۡ أَمۡوَٲلِهِمۡۚ فَٱلصَّـٰلِحَـٰتُ قَـٰنِتَـٰتٌ حَـٰفِظَـٰتٌ۬ لِّلۡغَيۡبِ بِمَا حَفِظَ ٱللَّهُۚ وَٱلَّـٰتِى تَخَافُونَ نُشُوزَهُنَّ فَعِظُوهُنَّ وَٱهۡجُرُوهُنَّ فِى ٱلۡمَضَاجِعِ وَٱضۡرِبُوهُنَّۖ فَإِنۡ أَطَعۡنَڪُمۡ فَلَا تَبۡغُواْ عَلَيۡہِنَّ سَبِيلاًۗ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ كَانَ عَلِيًّ۬ا ڪَبِيرً۬ا (٣٤) وَإِنۡ خِفۡتُمۡ شِقَاقَ بَيۡنِہِمَا فَٱبۡعَثُواْ حَكَمً۬ا مِّنۡ أَهۡلِهِۦ وَحَكَمً۬ا مِّنۡ أَهۡلِهَآ إِن يُرِيدَآ إِصۡلَـٰحً۬ا يُوَفِّقِ ٱللَّهُ بَيۡنَہُمَآۗ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ كَانَ عَلِيمًا خَبِيرً۬ا (٣٥(
Taken from http://www.central-mosque.com with permission and thanks
Translation:
Men stand caretakers of women since Allah has made some of themexcel the others, and because they have spent of their wealth .. So, the righteous women are obedient, guarding in' absence with the protection given by Allah. As for women whose disobedience you fear, convince them, and leave them apart in beds, and beat them. Then, if they obey you, do not seek a way agaf nst them. Surely, Allah is the Highest, the Greatest.[34]
And if you fear a split between them, send one arbitrator from his people and one from her people. If they desire to set things right, Allah shall bring about harmony between them. Surely, Allah is All-Knowing, All-Aware. [35]
The profile of a good wife
The verse begins, with a working rule - that man is charged with a duty-bound authority over women. The text then describes women, the good ones and the bad ones.
It says فَٱلصَّـٰلِحَـٰتُ قَـٰنِتَـٰتٌ حَـٰفِظَـٰتٌ۬ لِّلۡغَيۡبِ بِمَا حَفِظَ ٱللَّهُ means that women who are righteous accept this rule of the precedence of men and obey them, and when they are not with them, they stand guard on their own selves, as well as on what the husband has earned for the family.
It goes without saying that the protection of the personal honour and modesty of a woman, and that of everything else in the house under her charge are basic to the happiness that lies behind a successful home management. Although the duty of a woman to guard herself and to look after the home is not restricted toa situation where the husband is not at home, but is equally applicable during his presence also, yet the Holy Qur'an has mentioned the state of his 'absence' only, because it is in the absence of the husband that a woman is more susceptible to showing negligence; therefore, this situation has been mentioned in express terms.
The message is that what has to be avoided is showing a lot of concern and alertness while men are present in the house, but neglecting to abide by these rules of conduct when they are out of sight.
It was, most probably, in explanation of this verse that the Holy Prophet (Sallaho Alaihe Wassallam) said:
"The best of women is a woman who ; when you look at her, makes you pleased with her; and when you ask her to do something, she obeys you; and when you are absent, she guards her self, and her belongings."
Since these responsibilities placed on women, that is, the guarding and protection of their modesty, and of what the husband leaves in her charge, are not that easy to take care of, therefore, Allah Almighty has, immediately after it, declared بِمَا حَفِظَ ٱللَّهُ that is, Allah Almighty helps women when they so protect.
It is with His support known as the Tauflq of Allah, that they succeed in grappling with these heavy responsibilities. Had this not been there, the temptations of self and satan stand surrounding every man and woman all the time.
Then, women are particularly weaker in some areas of capabilities as compared to men, yet, when it comes to carrying out these responsibilities, they tend to be much stronger than men. All this is an outcome of Allah's Taufiq and help. This is the reason why women, as a general rule, are less involved in sinful immodesties as compared to men.
The merit of women who cooperate with their husbands, as evident from this verse, has also been widely reported in several Ahadeeth. In one such Hadith, the Holy Prophet (Sallaho Alaihe Wassallam) said that, for a woman who is dutiful to her husband, there are birds in the air and fish in the sea and angels in the skies and beasts in the forests who pray for her forgiveness by the Lord. (al-Bahr al-Muhit)
How to correct an uncooperative wife
'The text turns to women who are either straight disobedient to their husbands or fail to cooperate with them in running family affairs in the recognized manner.
The Holy Qur'an gives men three methods of correcting their behaviour. These are to be followed in the order وَٱلَّـٰتِى تَخَافُونَ نُشُوزَهُنَّ فَعِظُوهُنَّ وَٱهۡجُرُوهُنَّ فِى ٱلۡمَضَاجِعِ وَٱضۡرِبُوهُنَّ
It means: If you fear or face disobedience from women, the first step towards their correction is that you should talk it over with them nicely and softly. Still, if they remain adamant and do not change their attitude by conciliatory counsel alone, the next step is not to share the same bed with them, so that they may realize the displeasure of the husband as expressed through this symbolic separation, and may feel sorry for their conduct. The Holy Qur'an uses the words فِى ٱلۡمَضَاجِعِ at this point, meaning 'in beds'.
It is from here that Muslim jurists have deduced that this staying apart should be limited to 'beds' and not to the 'house' itself. In other words, the woman should not be left alone in the house, something which is bound to hurt her feeling much more and which makes the possibility of further straining of relations far stronger.
